This essay hit home for me. We always assume there will be more time, more conversations, more ordinary days. Losing a parent teaches you how fragile that assumption really is. Your description of hospice especially resonated with me. In my experience, it is such a surreal place where time somehow speeds up and slows down all at once. You’re grieving someone who is still here, and denial and love seem to exist side by side. Thank you for sharing such a tender memory of your father and for reminding us that the people we love are not promised to us forever. Happy Father’s Day. ❤️
This is a very vulnerable and heartfelt piece of writing, Csaba. Thank you for sharing it. I especially loved the line, "Another part of him I miss dearly is his capacity to listen and hold space without ever being trained to." I think that's such a special quality and experience it as a young person.
I couldn’t fully comprehend how unique his “skill” was, and I think that’s what made it so important. It was truly him and his being that enabled his ability to listen. I wish more people could experience how good that can feel.
Reading this essay I felt very emotional since it reminded me of my late father,to whom I was very close, while reading this essay I had tears in my eyes, you have very beautifully captured your father's personality, your relationship with him in words, a lovely tribute to your father 😊🌷
It makes my mind at ease that you found the article created a tribute to my father, his personality, and eventually our relationship. I didn’t want it to become a piece about me, but a glimpse into how awesome of a father he really was.
Thank you for sharing your experience as you read the article, and for sharing a tender moment of your own past. I don’t take this for granted.
Thank you for reading and supporting my work, and for sharing your thoughts. I deeply appreciate it! 🙏
A really heartfelt essay and tribute to your Dad. I wouldn't say I understand, because only the one who loses a parent understands. I have seen my mother go through this when my maternal grandfather passed away. I am sure though, his love, blessings to your family continue to shine and be with you all. P.S. I love the band Nirvana! too.
I secretly think that Nirvana sits at both sides of the bell curve, but nobody admits it. 🙃
I think going through grieving a parent is entirely unique to each and every one, and it completely depends on the relationship itself, so yes, understanding someone’s journey really shouldn’t be expected.
His presence is truly appreciated, even after so many years.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment and for sitting with the article! 🙏
Right, that part gets to me when I think about it, we missed listening to him play. Whereas he had his saxophone around where we lived all the time. I have no idea why he never picked it up for us.
Most people he met liked him; one of those guys who was totally easygoing and effortlessly fun to be around.
Thank you Csaba for sharing such a beautiful tribute to your dad. This line really stood out to me "My father never wanted me to become anything besides happy and healthy. He never coerced me in any direction." I got the sense from reading this that you got exactly what you needed from your dad and him from you.
This essay hit home for me. We always assume there will be more time, more conversations, more ordinary days. Losing a parent teaches you how fragile that assumption really is. Your description of hospice especially resonated with me. In my experience, it is such a surreal place where time somehow speeds up and slows down all at once. You’re grieving someone who is still here, and denial and love seem to exist side by side. Thank you for sharing such a tender memory of your father and for reminding us that the people we love are not promised to us forever. Happy Father’s Day. ❤️
You captured it beautifully. The first time, you’re not at all ready to handle the ambiguity of hospice, nothing comes close.
Thank you for reading, sharing your thoughts, and for the wishes! 🩶
This is a very vulnerable and heartfelt piece of writing, Csaba. Thank you for sharing it. I especially loved the line, "Another part of him I miss dearly is his capacity to listen and hold space without ever being trained to." I think that's such a special quality and experience it as a young person.
Thank you, Suzie, for noticing! 🙏
I couldn’t fully comprehend how unique his “skill” was, and I think that’s what made it so important. It was truly him and his being that enabled his ability to listen. I wish more people could experience how good that can feel.
Reading this essay I felt very emotional since it reminded me of my late father,to whom I was very close, while reading this essay I had tears in my eyes, you have very beautifully captured your father's personality, your relationship with him in words, a lovely tribute to your father 😊🌷
It makes my mind at ease that you found the article created a tribute to my father, his personality, and eventually our relationship. I didn’t want it to become a piece about me, but a glimpse into how awesome of a father he really was.
Thank you for sharing your experience as you read the article, and for sharing a tender moment of your own past. I don’t take this for granted.
Thank you for reading and supporting my work, and for sharing your thoughts. I deeply appreciate it! 🙏
A really heartfelt essay and tribute to your Dad. I wouldn't say I understand, because only the one who loses a parent understands. I have seen my mother go through this when my maternal grandfather passed away. I am sure though, his love, blessings to your family continue to shine and be with you all. P.S. I love the band Nirvana! too.
I secretly think that Nirvana sits at both sides of the bell curve, but nobody admits it. 🙃
I think going through grieving a parent is entirely unique to each and every one, and it completely depends on the relationship itself, so yes, understanding someone’s journey really shouldn’t be expected.
His presence is truly appreciated, even after so many years.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment and for sitting with the article! 🙏
It’s crazy how some random people sometimes leave such an impact on us.
Would you be comfortable with sharing the impact you refer to? It’s okay not to.
Sorry, it was phrased weirdly. I was tired. :/
I meant your writing impacting us, or me. Because I read those parts about missing those conversations with him, or you never hearing him play.
It just hit me somehow in a way I didn't expect to feel about a random person.
Hell don't even feel about my dad that way. But somehow reading this I thought. "Yeah. I'd miss that guy too."
Got it, no worries, and thank you for clarifying!
Right, that part gets to me when I think about it, we missed listening to him play. Whereas he had his saxophone around where we lived all the time. I have no idea why he never picked it up for us.
Most people he met liked him; one of those guys who was totally easygoing and effortlessly fun to be around.
Thank you for noticing!
Thank you Csaba for sharing such a beautiful tribute to your dad. This line really stood out to me "My father never wanted me to become anything besides happy and healthy. He never coerced me in any direction." I got the sense from reading this that you got exactly what you needed from your dad and him from you.
Thank you, Peter, for noticing! 🙏
I think so too, we just didn’t really have the chance to fully appreciate the connection in this life.