A very honest and incisive essay, especially the part about the vulnerability of sharing struck a chord with me,being introvert and somewhat reticent I found it difficult to share my thoughts with even people very close to me , which made me feel alone in trying times 👍
Hmm, I didn't really think about the introvert angle. Me being an introvert, I thought it could be easier for introverts to share their struggles in a safe, one-on-one session, but I see it now. It can be even harder for us sometimes. Thank you for bringing this angle to me. I appreciate your thoughts!
Coaching can you take you to the door. So true, growing up I was quite defensive at times (in my teens) especially when I had excellent and straighforward reality checks from my mother. It took me some time to realize and be grateful to my dear mother... in my spiritual vocab love and law, which helps one recognize the uncomfortable truth and changing. To be honest, over times I started gravitating more towards such people over time. A great way to mentor some one. Thanks for writing about it:) transformation only happens then, and that is a humbling and happy experience every time....
Thank you for taking time with my articles after being away. I appreciate your return, reads, and sharing your thoughts. I cherish your presence! 🙏
I believe what you described is true for a lot of us and is a great example of what we fear to admit to each other and ourselves. But bless the heart of such wonderful mothers who guide us when we need reality checks. 🩶
To me this is the way. Advice has its rightful place, but when progress is earned and witnessed, I believe that has a way better chance to become an everlasting change and is way more satisfying too.
This is a brilliant reality check for anyone investing in personal growth. It takes immense courage to admit that self-awareness tests and "private manuals to ourselves" can often become shields to avoid the actual, uncomfortable choice to change. It is a powerful reminder that while a great coach or tool can guide you directly to the door, stepping through it always requires your own personal responsibility.
I'm in awe. Your synthesis is on point, and I should use this as my excerpt. Thank you for adding it as a comment. I feared that my point became blurry and that I might have buried it, but now I can rest a bit, seeing that it makes sense for you. Thank you for noticing and adding your thoughts! 🙏
Csaba, thank you for writing about this with such care. r. was never built to replace coaching, and honestly I think that's true in a deeper way than tool-versus-human. Coaches can be incredibly helpful. But neither r. nor a coach can do the work for the client. The client still has to initiate the change and sit with the discomfort of it themselves. What r. genuinely can't offer is what you named in your coregulation piece, one nervous system sensing another. That's not a gap I'm trying to close. It's just true, and worth saying plainly. Really glad this piece exists.
It makes me glad that you notice the care I tried to put into this mention.
Thank you for bringing up the nod to coregulation as I think that's what will make human coaching or therapy for that matter live on. I believe we need each other to witness our growth and to accept that we can feel better in the presence of others.
Tools such as r. also have their rightful place. We all should keep an open mind to new ideas to remain innovative.
Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate you noticing!
Your article reminded me that neither coaching nor psychotherapy can replace a person's own decision to change. They may create the conditions, but they cannot substitute for the choice itself. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
Great piece. I'm all too familiar with this problem. When I realise a client is not "at threshold" I have to ask them to come back when they're ready, even if it pains me. They have to convince me that's the case which ironically often gets them there.
Great addition to accompany them as long as they feel comfortable going. That's okay; ultimately, it's their decision and we should all respect their decision. The pain can also be real, I felt that.
Great article Csaba. Chatbots by default are built to tell you what you want to hear which can then just further strengthen your own bias towards something.
I've found in my own life and in my work, that what can seem like someone not wanting admit something to me is just as often them not wanting to admit it to themselves because if they do, then it becomes "true" in a tangible sense. Another human being sharing in this can make the weight of that not so heavy.
Ah, your comment is a great reminder of this clarification: This specific chatbot (R.) has been developed by a coach, and it radiated through our conversation, making me really think about my decisions and my current life. Not a run of the mill type of bot.
It's also so important that you mentioned admission becoming tangible. Once it's out, it is really out, and then it becomes a different conversation to find ourselves through that door. Being together can lift that weight to a lighter level.
Thank you for adding these thoughts, I appreciate them!
A very honest and incisive essay, especially the part about the vulnerability of sharing struck a chord with me,being introvert and somewhat reticent I found it difficult to share my thoughts with even people very close to me , which made me feel alone in trying times 👍
Hmm, I didn't really think about the introvert angle. Me being an introvert, I thought it could be easier for introverts to share their struggles in a safe, one-on-one session, but I see it now. It can be even harder for us sometimes. Thank you for bringing this angle to me. I appreciate your thoughts!
Coaching can you take you to the door. So true, growing up I was quite defensive at times (in my teens) especially when I had excellent and straighforward reality checks from my mother. It took me some time to realize and be grateful to my dear mother... in my spiritual vocab love and law, which helps one recognize the uncomfortable truth and changing. To be honest, over times I started gravitating more towards such people over time. A great way to mentor some one. Thanks for writing about it:) transformation only happens then, and that is a humbling and happy experience every time....
Thank you for taking time with my articles after being away. I appreciate your return, reads, and sharing your thoughts. I cherish your presence! 🙏
I believe what you described is true for a lot of us and is a great example of what we fear to admit to each other and ourselves. But bless the heart of such wonderful mothers who guide us when we need reality checks. 🩶
To me this is the way. Advice has its rightful place, but when progress is earned and witnessed, I believe that has a way better chance to become an everlasting change and is way more satisfying too.
This is a brilliant reality check for anyone investing in personal growth. It takes immense courage to admit that self-awareness tests and "private manuals to ourselves" can often become shields to avoid the actual, uncomfortable choice to change. It is a powerful reminder that while a great coach or tool can guide you directly to the door, stepping through it always requires your own personal responsibility.
I'm in awe. Your synthesis is on point, and I should use this as my excerpt. Thank you for adding it as a comment. I feared that my point became blurry and that I might have buried it, but now I can rest a bit, seeing that it makes sense for you. Thank you for noticing and adding your thoughts! 🙏
Csaba, thank you for writing about this with such care. r. was never built to replace coaching, and honestly I think that's true in a deeper way than tool-versus-human. Coaches can be incredibly helpful. But neither r. nor a coach can do the work for the client. The client still has to initiate the change and sit with the discomfort of it themselves. What r. genuinely can't offer is what you named in your coregulation piece, one nervous system sensing another. That's not a gap I'm trying to close. It's just true, and worth saying plainly. Really glad this piece exists.
It makes me glad that you notice the care I tried to put into this mention.
Thank you for bringing up the nod to coregulation as I think that's what will make human coaching or therapy for that matter live on. I believe we need each other to witness our growth and to accept that we can feel better in the presence of others.
Tools such as r. also have their rightful place. We all should keep an open mind to new ideas to remain innovative.
Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate you noticing!
Your article reminded me that neither coaching nor psychotherapy can replace a person's own decision to change. They may create the conditions, but they cannot substitute for the choice itself. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
Thank you for noticing! That choice is truly everything.
Great piece. I'm all too familiar with this problem. When I realise a client is not "at threshold" I have to ask them to come back when they're ready, even if it pains me. They have to convince me that's the case which ironically often gets them there.
Great addition to accompany them as long as they feel comfortable going. That's okay; ultimately, it's their decision and we should all respect their decision. The pain can also be real, I felt that.
Thank you for adding your thoughts!
Great article Csaba. Chatbots by default are built to tell you what you want to hear which can then just further strengthen your own bias towards something.
I've found in my own life and in my work, that what can seem like someone not wanting admit something to me is just as often them not wanting to admit it to themselves because if they do, then it becomes "true" in a tangible sense. Another human being sharing in this can make the weight of that not so heavy.
Ah, your comment is a great reminder of this clarification: This specific chatbot (R.) has been developed by a coach, and it radiated through our conversation, making me really think about my decisions and my current life. Not a run of the mill type of bot.
It's also so important that you mentioned admission becoming tangible. Once it's out, it is really out, and then it becomes a different conversation to find ourselves through that door. Being together can lift that weight to a lighter level.
Thank you for adding these thoughts, I appreciate them!
An important clafification there for sure! That sounds like an interesting product.